A C0NV3RSAT10N

Shadowy Figure: She was a terrible person. You really let that ruin everything?

H3RM1T: Yeah, I guess I did. I was blind. Stupid. She never truly cared. I was just there to fill space. I could tell how she looked at me, but I was disillusioned by her.

Shadowy Figure: Happens. You think you're the main act, turns out you're just the background noise while she waits for something better.

H3RM1T: Yeah. And I knew it, too. I could feel it. But I kept telling myself otherwise. Like an idiot.

Shadowy Figure: We all do that. That dumb hope. That little voice that says, nah, you're different, you're special. But you weren’t. Neither was I. Neither is anyone.

H3RM1T: And she’d laugh at my jokes, but not in the way you laugh when something's funny. More like when you pity a stray dog who does a dumb trick for a scrap.

Shadowy Figure: Christ.

H3RM1T: Yeah. But I let it happen. Because I wanted something to believe in.

Shadowy Figure: That's the worst part, isn't it? When you look back and realize you weren't even tricked. You just let yourself drown in it.

H3RM1T: Right. I handed her the rope and she hung me with it. Smiled while she did it, too.

Shadowy Figure: And now? You miss her?

H3RM1T: No. I miss the lie. I miss thinking it meant something.

Shadowy Figure: The lie’s always better. Until it isn’t.

H3RM1T: Until it guts you in a parking lot at 2 AM and leaves you there bleeding under a streetlamp.

Shadowy Figure: And then you swear you’ll never be that dumb again.

H3RM1T: And then you do it all over again.

Shadowy Figure: Yeah. We always do.

Shadowy Figure: You know what pisses me off the most? It’s not even her. It’s you.

H3RM1T: Me? What the fuck did I do?

Shadowy Figure: You let her do it. You let her sink her claws in, drag you around like some lovesick idiot, and now you’re sitting here like a kicked dog, licking your wounds.

H3RM1T: Fuck you, think I don’t know that?

Shadowy Figure: No, I think you do. I think you’ve known it the whole time. But you let it happen anyway. Because you wanted it. Because it felt good, right up until it didn’t.

H3RM1T: Yeah, well, maybe I did. Maybe I wanted to be fooled.

Shadowy Figure: Of course you did. We all do. But that’s the thing—you can’t sit here acting like you had no part in it. You built the damn pedestal. You handed her the crown.

H3RM1T: So what? I just forget it happened?

Shadowy Figure: No, you remember it. You carry it with you and never, ever let it happen again.

H3RM1T: That’s a hell of a way to live. Like a stone in your shoe. You let it rub your skin raw every time you take a step.

Shadowy Figure: It’s the only way. Otherwise, you end up back in the same place. Another girl. Another lie. Another night sitting here telling me how blind and stupid you were.

H3RM1T: You really think I’d fall for it again?

Shadowy Figure: I think you’re already looking for the next one.

H3RM1T: That’s bullshit and you know it. Rejection is becoming too much of a recurrence.

Shadowy Figure: Is it? You’re already romanticizing this whole thing. The tragedy, the heartbreak, the lessons learned. It’s like a bad novel you keep rewriting in your head.

H3RM1T: Maybe I just don’t want to be bitter like you.

Shadowy Figure: Bitter’s better than delusional. Bitter keeps you sharp.

H3RM1T: And what? I just stop believing in people?

Shadowy Figure: No. You stop believing in the idea that they owe you anything.

H3RM1T: That’s a lonely way to think.

Shadowy Figure: No, that’s a free way to think. You love people for what they are, not what you wish they’d be. And when they leave, you let them.

H3RM1T: Easy for you to say.

Shadowy Figure: Yeah. Because I already learned it the hard way.

H3RM1T: You think you got it all figured out, don’t you? Like you’ve got some golden rule for not getting screwed over.

Shadowy Figure: No, I just don’t go around handing my soul to people who don’t give a damn.

H3RM1T: Yeah? Well, maybe it’s not that simple. Maybe some things you don’t just walk away from.

Shadowy Figure: Like what?

H3RM1T: Just—things. You wouldn’t get it.

Shadowy Figure: Try me.

H3RM1T: No. Forget it.

Shadowy Figure: Oh, come on. What, did she steal your dog? Wreck your car? Take a dump in your bed?

H3RM1T: Jesus, shut up. Drop it.

Shadowy Figure: You’re making it a whole thing. Just say it.

H3RM1T: I don’t need to say shit. I already know I’m done. With all of it. Women, relationships, all that crap. Done.

Shadowy Figure: You say that now.

H3RM1T: No, I mean it. Done. Forever.

Shadowy Figure: Nobody’s done forever.

H3RM1T: I am.

Shadowy Figure: Bullshit. You’re just licking your wounds, acting like the world’s out to get you.

H3RM1T: The world is out to get me.

Shadowy Figure: Oh, come on. What, you think you’re cursed now?

H3RM1T: Something like that.

Shadowy Figure: Jesus, you’re dramatic. What did she do to you, man?

H3RM1T: I told you. Forget it.

Shadowy Figure: No, because now I know you’re hiding something. What, did she leave you broke? Cheat on you?

H3RM1T: She… Yeah… Something.

Shadowy Figure: What?

H3RM1T: Forget it... I said drop it.

Shadowy Figure: …Oh.

H3RM1T: Yeah.

Shadowy Figure: Shit.

H3RM1T: Yeah.

Shadowy Figure: So that’s why you’re talking all this done forever nonsense.

H3RM1T: It’s not nonsense. It’s fact.

Shadowy Figure: You don’t know that.

H3RM1T: I do know that. Because I’m not doing this again. Not rolling the dice, not trusting anyone, not putting myself in that position ever again.

Shadowy Figure: You’re acting like your life is over.

H3RM1T: It is, in that way. No more relationships, no more love, no more of that hopeful idiot crap. It’s over.

Shadowy Figure: You’re being extreme.

H3RM1T: No, I’m being realistic.

Shadowy Figure: What now? You just keep going like this?

H3RM1T: What choice do I have?

Shadowy Figure: You have every choice.

H3RM1T: No, I don’t. People don’t come back from this.

Shadowy Figure: That’s a goddamn lie.

H3RM1T: …I don’t think I can.

Shadowy Figure: Then let me help you.

H3RM1T: You can’t.

Shadowy Figure: Maybe not. But I can remind you—you’re not dead yet.

H3RM1T: Ha. That’s the real tragedy.

Shadowy Figure: What?

H3RM1T: You’re dead, have been for what, twenty years?

Shadowy Figure: Touché. But you’re the one talking to a ghost.

H3RM1T: Yeah. I’m a lost cause. Batshit crazy.